Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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