I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
