Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize