everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
