No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
