I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
