from now on my penis is your penis
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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