After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I pour the whiskey from now on
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I know her cup size but not her name....
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