lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
