I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
