ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
