Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
