I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
