Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
