i just had sex bonerless
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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