Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
