Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
