Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
