i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
