Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
