i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
