Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I could fuck to npr.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize