That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
