So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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