Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
