everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
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