My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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