Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
