i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
