Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Michael Bay diarrhea
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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