Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
