Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
