Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
