i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
