They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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