the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
