I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you win again, gameday.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
