Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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