why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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