belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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