Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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