Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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