So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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