walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
the day after is always just damage control
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
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