so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Randomize
