i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
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