O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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