sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Green mimosas i think yes
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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