I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
