i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
