did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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