That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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