So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I intend to get homeless drunk
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
