just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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