remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
And then he peed in my hair
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