I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
