sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
