Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Randomize
