Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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