I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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