its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
