I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
